SUPP I'M IKILLYA.

Aquila Deanna Bte Zulkifli. ^^
14 years on a rollercoaster.
Xinmin Secondary School.
ila_deanna@hotmail.com
Rockclimbing & dikir.
I think I'm emotional. But I'm friendly enuff.
Follow me on twitter.
Or, find me in Fb. I got a long name.

You better talk.
Links are at the bottom of the page.
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It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had is come and gone
You better offer someone else
It is for the best
I know it is
But I see you

Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside
And I turn around
You're with her now
I just can't figure it out

Chorus
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Memories suppose to fade
What's wrong with my heart
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it would be this hard
Should be strong, moving on
But I see you

Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside
And I turn around
You're with her now
I just can't figure it out

Chorus.

Maybe I regret
Everything I said
And there's no way
To take it all back
Now I'm on my own
I wont let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand

Chorus.

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
And I really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you
Not over you.

Amazing how I can relate to the lyrics so much. Hah.
Gosh.

Merry Christmas to those who do celebrate this day. (:

Older sis came. Now I got anthr friend yeahhh. It was last minute don't ask. K bye.

I still keep thinking of you.

Heppppppp! Lol. Inside joke.

I'm happy I could help ____ and _____. Heh. And I did good. (:
Ehhhhhhhh I'm so pissed that I have nothing to write about.
Played badminton just now tho. Fun, for the first time in a week.
I can't wait for the new years eve countdown party here. :D

K nothing else, ): bye.
Did I mention my dad has huge feet? Nyaha. Real huge. His socks are hilarious.

Hi.

I havnt done my homework. How great does that sound.
I really have nothing to say. Just that I really really miss school! ):
But the days are going by quite quickly. Good and bad.

Good: School starts and I get to see friends! :D
Bad: School starts and I'm scared I wont be able to finish hmwrk in
time.

Heh. I'm bored everyday. I wanna swim but my sister doesnt want to. I wanna go cycling but my sister doesnt want to. I wanna have fun, but my sister's sick. Ahhhhhh. And she's my only friend here.
Awesome. What could get worse, right? (:

Alright. This post is gonna be emotional. Heh heh.
But it's for a good cause. (:

Let's call you: girl.

Girl, hi. :D
So I know you're totally not used to this eh. All the love stuff you know..
That's why I'm sick of it. Haha. K back to the point.
You don't like how he's being so m___ right? You know what that is.
I agree he is way over board. But I think it's because his past relations were as m___ as he is now. So yeah, maybe you and I don't get him. He can't change that fast... just like you. (: It could be hard to make this thing work though. Good luck to you and him. You guys seem like a great couple. Seriously speaking. Heheh. We three know you got other things to worry about. I worry about you all day. Cos mf scares me. I just wish you could live with me or something. Oh reminds, I got somth to ask you.
You may not know it, but he really really cares for you. Really.

Okay, I'm done with that.
So when this chaos was going on, I don't wanna tell what.. there was the coolest thing happening at the same time.

I call it the complicated square conversation.
I was advising girl bout guy, girl was talking to guy, guy was confused and asked A, A dint know how to explain and asked me. Cool heh. -.- Ahh today was bleagh. Bye.

Kkk, I'm gonna do a quiz again. (:
It's the best I could do. Besides blabla about my boring life.

1. Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
Nope.

2. Last awkward moment?
I don't really have awkward moments. Heh heh.

3. Who do you find yourself crushing on currently?
Why would I tell you? (:

4. Have you ever fallen backwards down a set of stairs?
Owwww, well no.

5. Ever been to a friends house and starved the whole time?
Yeap, Mabellyn's. Nyahah.

6. Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Nope.

7. Name someone close to you who smokes cigarettes?
Nehhh.

8. Name 3 things that everyone knows about you:
1. I'm loud. 2. I'm a girl. 3. I'm bored right now. ):

9. When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
A true friend does'nt even think of walking out. So I'll let them go.

10. Have you ever been corrected at your workplace?
Nope. Cuz I don't have a workplace.

11. Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Uhhh, I'm not sure..

12. Do you still live at home?
No, I actually have the streetlights as my roommate now. -.- K don't curse myself heh.

13. Last time you smiled?
Today. Fuyoooo.

14. What do you do when a telemarketer calls?
I say: 'uh, hold on.' And then throw th phone to older sis.

15. Would life be the same without alcohol?
You think? I don't drink lah.

16. Would you go a month without washing your hair to save a loved one?
What a question. I guess?

17. Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Dude shut up, you're cursing me.

18. Have you had the best night of your life?
Sounds wrong ehhheh. I sleep every night, so no.

19. Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
They don't even exist. Heh I don't have pets.

20. have you ever picked a bugger and speared it under something?
Haha. No. -.-

21. When was your last bubble bath?
I dooont know.

22. Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
Nope.

23. What was the last thing you ate?
Chocolate. Bleagh.

24. Where is your pet right now?
I said I don't have pets.

25. Name five things you did last night?
1. Play pool, 2. eat dinner, 3. talk, 4. hit my sister, 5. talk in my sleep. Again. :D

26. Last time you consumed alcohol?
Yesterday I think. Kidding lah kidding. Never.

27. What color phone do you have?
Metallic pink heh.

28. How many kids do you have?
Na-da + zilch + zip, okay ssssh.

29. What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
A normal one.

30. What color are your eyes?
Dark brown.

31. Have you ever been in love?
Yeah hahaha.

32. When was the last time you drank a martini?
Never and stop asking me bout alcohol.

33. Did you do any chores today?
Yeah. Wake up from my dream. ): Lol.

34. What are you doing tomorrow?
Live.

35. Do you know someone who likes you?
No haha.

36. Have you ever had a friend named Fred, Frank, or Felipe?
Nope.

37. Does a heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
You must be living under a rock. It's worse.

38. What color is your hair?
I love the fact that this is so random. Black/ dark brown.

39. Do you think any of your exs still look good?
Don't know how they look now. (:

40. Have you ever said I Love You and not meant it?
Oh wow yea.

41. Do you have a bestfriend?
Yeah.

42. What is the closest green object to you?
Some bottle.

43. Have you ever been teased really bad?
Yeah, when I was small and pathetic.

44. Do you still have feelings for anyone from your past?
I.. don't think so.

45. Have you ever had an ingrown toenail?
Nope.

46. Do you believe in ghosts?
Nope. Haha wishful thinking.

47. Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
Nope.

48. Do you have a lot of guy friends?
Pretty much.

49. Do you have your tonsils and wisdom teeth?
Tonsils? ^^ Wisdom teeth, yeah.

50. Have you ever been in handcuffs?
No and I don't wish to k. (:

Awesome I'm done.
Oh bout the abusing potato chips thingy, my sister's idea. Hah random.

I felt like chnging my blogskin to some simple one.
So I did. Heh heh.
I don't care if people don't like it. It's just a blog dude.
Gosh, msn's really bitchy today. I can't sign in. ):
Not that anybody cares haha. Ah well bye.

Finally! I got the song on my blog. Heh.
I've been struggling with the stupid thing.
I dont know why it became so hard. -.-
Anyway, I feel like changing blogskin.
Why am I telling you anway. Kay whatever.

Bubblegum reminded me of you today. Random eyh? (:

Everything, yeah everything reminds me of you.
And it all started with dear Amielia. (:
I forgot about you and your life until she reminded me.
I dint see coincidences between the things I see and you, until she told me.
And I dint know forgetting you was a mission, until she talked to me.
Haha. (Amy I'm not mad at you so gyeah chill lol.)

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
I wish I can get over this situation. Bleagh. ):

What would you do if you had a second chance to change the way you live before th earth died?

Haha. Watched 'The Day The Earth Stood Still' today. Wow awesome movie. (:
Wanted to watch Bolt but it was'nt screening. But I'm glad I watched TDTESST. Ooookay shut up.

How many more days till school? Missing so many people ehhhh. And I can't wait to see how Nut will react to you know you know.. Nyahaha.

Uhhh.. nothing to say wooot. K bye. (:

Don't you agree, when they all say 'home is where the heart is'?
But do you see with every step that you take you get further away,
from where the heart is.

Gonna do a quiz since I got nothing to post bout.

Starting Time: 10.16 pm.
Name: Aquila.
Shoe Size: 7/8.
Height: 160 cm. :D
Where do you live: Bishan.
Favorite Drinks: Ice Lemon Tea.

Have You Ever--
Been on a plane: Mmhm.
Fallen asleep in school: Duh. (:
Broken someone's heart: Mmhm...
Fell off a chair: Haha.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Nope.
Saved e-mails: Gyeap.
What is your room like: A room. Fuyoo.
What is the last thing you ate: Chicken soup. (No, I'm not sick.)
Have you had chicken pox: Mmhm.
Sorethroat: Till it hurt to speak. (:
Broken Nose: Nooope.
Do you believe in love at first sight: Yeah No Maybe.
Like picnics: Yeah :D

Who was the last person--
You danced with: Mimi.
Last person who made you smile: Mimi.
You last yelled at: Mimi. Wow awesome.

Today did you--
Talk to someone you like: Mmhm. (No, not that kinda 'like'.)
Kiss someone: Mmhm.
Fall sick: Nope.
Talk to an ex: Nooope.
Miss someone: Duh! ):
Eat: Eh crap no! -.-

Random--
Best feeling in the world: That best feeling. ^^
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Nooope.
What's under your bed: Oooh lemme think. I think, a marble floor.
Who do you really hate: Nobody.
What time is it now: 10.32 pm.
Is there a person who is in your mind now: Mmhm.
Do you have any siblings: 2.
Do you want any children: Ask me when I'm older gyeah thanks.
Do you smile often: Gyeap. (:
Do you like your handwriting: Whatever.
Are your toenails painted: Nooope.
Who's bed would you rather sleep in other than yours: My parents'. (:
What colour shirt are you wearing now: Grey.
What were you doing at 7pm yesterday: Walking.
You cant wait till: Januray 2nd.
Are you a friendly person: Not really. Ha. I'm sorta 'sombong' to people who don't know me.
Do you have any pets: Nope.
Where is the person you have feelings for right now: Hah. I'm not psychic lah helloo.
Did the last person you held hands with means anything to you: Mmhm. Dad. (:
Do you sleep with the TV on: Sometimes.
Have you ever crawled through the window: Nooope.
Are you too forgiving: Bleaghh.
Are you closer to your mother or your father: Father.
Who was the last person you cried in front of: Mimi.
How many people can you say you really loved: A few.
Do you eat healthy: Not rly. (:
Do you still have your pictures of you and your ex: Never had. ^^
Have you ever cried of something someone said to you: Mhmm...
If you are having a bad day,who are you most lightly to go to: Amy on msn. Lol.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time: Loud. :D
Are you confident: Used to, not really now.

5 things i was doing 10 years ago: Living, crying, singing (?), screaming, laughing.
5 things i have on my to-do-list today: I had a to-do-list?! Nahh.
5 things i would do if i am a billionaire: Live my life, donate, get a whole new wardrobe, a private jet, go to countries I've longed to go for years.
5 of my bad habits: Lying, sleeping late, hitting people, screaming, pissing my mom off.
5 jobs i have had: Only student.

Anyone else can do it. Well bye. (:

Fucking liar. First, she does'nt talk to you.
You talk to me, then you tell me you like me.
You tell stories that are worlds apart frm th tales you told her.
So I dint believe you.
Then you said other stuff, said it was really true that you liked me. I believed you. What the fuck was I thinking.
Then you got a chance to talk to her.
And then you told me the 'liking me' thing was a joke.
You went all: 'You knw that what Isaid was a joke right?' What a bitch sial.
Then you told me you actually was trying to win her back.
And then bout how you want her to be happy so you dcided not to intefere her life.
You told me, maybe you were gonna chnge school. Guess what, I hope you fucking do chnge school.
I don't wanna see your fugly face in sch telling all the lies you live for.
But hey, here's a thought. Maybe you changing schools is just another friggin lie of yours. Not a shcok.
I guess I'm just not that lucky. But I am lucky, cos I dint fall for you. Thank god and thank you.
Have a good life lying sucka. Oh and good luck in winning her back. If she ever talks to you again.

Crisis (!)

Can't upload pictures, no USB. So sorry anyone who's wanting to see pictures.
Be patient and wait till I get back to Singapore. Manymanymany picts, swear.
Okay nothing to post. Wow not a shock. Life is there, I'm here. Life has changed and I don't get to see it. They're bonding and I'm tearing apart. I can understand life won't slow down one bit.
But can it go a little faster? All I'm looking forward to is school next year.

But what I usually say are the wrong things. So why bother. If I want life to go a little faster, it will and I'd wish it never happened. The safest thing to do is zip it and pray hard everything will go great next year.

Whatever. Shut up.

So, hi. (:

Nothing much really. A few crazy things have happened so far, won't elaborate. Hey come on don't jeer. (Wishful thinking. People don't care so dream on qilla. ^^)

It's true. Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
But it's like Imma spare wheel.
Just 'using' me. Stupid qilla, stupid.

I know it's always the girls who people can't understand.
Talk about this boy, sheesh.

Before he did the same thing a couple of times and it was always a joke. I never fell for it of course. And then he did it again, it was like the boy who cried wolf. You won't believe it the third time if you know it's not true. So I just kept saying I dint believe him. I took it as a joke again.

He kept saying it was true. It was'nt a joke. Blablablah. He's lied so many times. Well lied for the sake of a lame joke of course. Why would I believe him this time? He tried so many things, said so many things still I dint believe. At the point I told him I knew it was his lame jokes again his tone kinda chnged. I went, why suddenly chnge? It's not true why be sad about it.

My sister said I was being mean after he said that.
But it was'nt true, right?
She said if it was'nt true why would he be 'sad' and stuff.
Makes sense. But I dint believe it. Not a chance.
I might be falling for a lie then.
Still she said I was being mean.
But, what if he was'nt sad? Well whatever.
I told him not to be sad. I was sticking to my: It's a lame joke thing.

Whatever happens, I want it to be a lie again.
I really hope it is.
Don't ask, thanks.
Ps: If you ever read this, I'm sorry. For whatever I need to be sorry abt and if I even need to be sorry. -.-

Bye.
(Amy, that was just so difficult to type. Lol. Where's my truck? ^^)

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
Crabby no havvy. :D (Inside joke)

Currently listening to HSM3 Soundtrack (yeah we bought it nyahah) so I kinda high. (:
Just Wanna Be With You is friggin nice to listen to! Grr.
And Scream, and Walk Away and yeah probably all the songs. (?) Heh.
Okay let's blahblah about today.

First destination: Matang Family Park.
Was'nt exactly what I expected. Heck.
Got pics tho. (:
It was pretty boring cos the best fun you could have there was swim. And we dint get to. >:(

Next destination: Wildlife Centre.
Walked around for like 15 mins around the small museum.
Which was not what you're supposed to do there.
The main attractions were closed.
Oh and then we found this weird Notice. Funny sia.

Would you do any better for me?
Would you see that we were meant to be?
Would you know if we would get along just right?
For me, would you stay up all night?

Hi.
I'm officially bored @ 1.30 am with nothing to do. Na-da, zilch.
Nobody's online. (Curse you amy for singing out) Lol.
Oooh lemme tell you my 'sarawak' day routine.

Wake up. Go cafe eat breakfast/branch/lunch. Cycle for a couple of minutes. Walk on the beach. Create lame jokes with sister. Stop at shop to get ice-cream/sweets/drinks. Go back to room. Use laptop. Watch tv. Lie on the bed (best part heh heh). Do PT. Dinner. Use lappy till midnight. Sleep.

And then all over again.
Gahh what a life. -.-
I wish I had those cameras. You know what I'm talking about.
I'm going to Matang Family Park.
Obviously there will be awesome pictures.
If I had a camera ehem, the pics would be so much nicer. ):
I'll try to do my best with my phone camera anyway.
I would upload th pics the next day of course.
Ooops one problem. Forgot to bring cable. Shit head. Hah.

My blog song.
I'm severely attached to it. Haha.
Even if it's a short song.
The lyrics are love.

Dikir peeps outing.
Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
I want to go lahh. But duh I can't.
Man they're going Sentosa! ):
Enjoy, have fun without me there while I cry in bed here. Nyeheh lame.
Why must it be Sentosa? Lol. Why dikir peeps? Why this time? Why when I'm here and not there?! Haha. Goddamit.